"公号：易用美剧

我们真的非得穿这些难看的毛衣吗

do we really have to wear these ugly sweaters?

让奶奶看到就好了

it's just until grandma can see them.

我的领口太小

my neck hole is too small.

我的弄得人浑身发痒

mine's itchy.

其实 我宁愿痒死也不愿意窒息死

you know what? i'd rather be itchy than chokey.

快来 菲尔 快点

come on, phil. hurry up.

好了 我们开始吧

okay, here we go.

视频连接中

connecting.

登陆 佛罗里达 完毕

come in, florida. over.

老妈 老爸

mom? dad?

你好啊 菲利普

hello, philip.

平安夜快乐

merry christmas eve!

平安夜快乐

merry christmas eve!

稍微低一点点 老爸

a little- little lower, dad.

平安夜快乐

merry christmas eve!

谢谢

thank you.

- 谢谢你们送来的毛衣 -不客气

- thanks for the sweaters. - i-i- oh, you're welcome.

你们穿这些毛衣好看极了 亲爱的

you look beautiful in them, darling.

- 老妈呢 -她正在快速下沉

- where's mom? - mom is sinking fast.

她在浴缸里泡澡

uh-oh. she's in the bathtub.

听懂了吗

get it?

他们有那种老式四脚浴缸

they have that claw-foot.

亲爱的 快来

honey, come on.

瞧 老爸 看我们家的圣诞树

hey, pops, here's the tree.

那些是你送给我们的装饰物

and, uh, there-there's the, uh- there's the ornament you sent us.

就在这儿 看到了没

right here. right here. oh.

那是圣诞长袜

there are the stockings,

克莱尔把它们吊在烟囱上的

hung by the chimney by claire.

你还是那么搞笑啊 儿子

ah! still funny, son.

- 那是什么 -还那么搞笑

- what the hell is that? - still funny.

那是什么 看上去像是被香烟烫的洞

what is that? that looks like a cigarette burn.

- 你们有人抽烟了吗 -什么

- was one of you smoking a cigarette? - what?

- 没有 -你们谁在偷着抽烟吗

- no. - which one of you was smoking?

不是我 我呼吸系统有问题

not me. i have a respiratory problem.

显然不是你

obviously it wasn't you.

- 难道某人又吸烟又说谎吗 -亲爱的 快来

- now i've got a family of liars and smokers. -honey, come here.

你得来看看这出

you gotta see this.

你们的圣诞礼物是不是也是从商场偷来的

did you shoplift your christmas presents too?

- 菲利普 -海莉 不许脱那丑毛衣

- philip? - haley, keep that ugly sweater on.

总之 圣诞快乐

anyway, merry christmas!

摩登家庭

第一季第十集

不 不 不是那种审判

no, no, it isn't that kind of a trial.

就因为他说他是圣诞老人

it's just because he says he's santa claus.

但直觉告诉我他就是圣诞老人 妈妈

but i've got a feeling he is santa claus, mother.

有人不相信圣诞老人真的存在 所以...

some people don't believe that. that's why-

你哭了吗

are you crying?

你是机器人吗 多么感人的电影啊

what are you, a robot? it's a deeply emotional movie.

曼尼 亲爱的 你到厨房来帮我下

manny, miamor, i need you to help me in the kitchen.

先让我们看完这部电影 歌洛莉亚

we gotta finish this first, gloria.

这孩子从没看过《34街奇迹》

the kid's never seen miracle on 34th street.

那是因为他一直和我家人

that's because he always

一起在哥伦比亚过圣诞节

spends christmas in colombia with my family.

我们看的是《萨拉萨尔和大熊拯救圣诞》

and all we see there is salazar and el oso save christmas.

-听上去很经典啊 -确实

- sounds like a classic. - it is.

老妈 能让我们看完电影吗

mom, can we finish the movie?

好的

okay.

他和别人那么不同

he's not like anyone else.

他一定是圣诞老人

he must be santa.

我想你可能是对的 苏西

i think perhaps you're right, susie.

那是什么玩意啊

what the hell is that?

那是什么玩意啊

what the hell is that?

- 傻冒 -什么玩意

- inocente! - what the hell?

当你说我们要一起看这部电影时

when you told me we were going to watch this movie,

我就从网上下了这个恶作剧版的

i got a joke copy from the internet.

你就是傻冒

you are the inocente!

我好像有点弄不明白状况了

well, maybe i'm a little confused right now.

什么是傻冒

what is this "inocente" stuff?

在哥伦比亚 恶作剧是圣诞传统

in colombia, practical jokes are a christmas tradition.

被愚弄的人就是傻冒

the one that is fooled is the inocente!

我们在愚人节时才会恶作剧

we tell practical jokes on april fool's day,

千万别再搞这一套了

so do not do that again.

傻冒

"inocente."

还会出现吗 搞得我兴致全无

does it do it again? ah, it's ruined.

开什么玩笑 要排这么长的队

are you kidding me with this line?

我要找圣诞老人要回我刚浪费的45分钟

i'm gonna ask santa for the last 45 minutes of my life back.

开心点 我们带着女儿在圣诞老人村呢

would you cheer up? we're in santa's village with our daughter.

一年前我们在哪呢

where were we a year ago?

在这个长队的最前面

we were at the beginning of this line.

知道吗 某人需要融入这个节日 妈的

you know what? somebody needs to get in the holiday- son of a bitch.

也许不是他们呢

maybe it's not them.

就是他们

oh, it's them.

就是他们

it's them.

3年前 我组织了一个唱诗班

three years ago, i formed a caroling group.

名字是"绿袖子颂歌班"

we were known as the greensleevers.

我们会在慈善活动现场和医院演奏

we would perform at charity events, hospitals-

当时可是红遍大江南北

they were very, very popular.

去年 我的一名成员

uh, last year, one of my carolers-

安德鲁 他发动了一场小小的政变

andrew- staged a little coup.

他

and he, um-

他们把卡梅隆踢出了唱诗班

they kicked cameron out of the group.

谢谢

thank you.

我们是"新"绿袖子颂歌班

we're the new greensleevers.

新绿袖子

the new greensleevers?

简直是狠狠抽了我一巴掌嘛

is there a slap mark on my face?

为什么让埃德娜唱低声部的合音

i mean, why is edna singing the low harmony?

观众像是因为震惊才鼓掌一样

it's like people are applauding out of shock.

- 随他们去吧 -为什么

- let it go. - why would-

- 好的 下一个 -终于啊

- okay, next. - ah, finally.

抱歉 我能 你能

whoa! i'm- i'm sorry. can i- could you-

另一个圣诞老人怎么了

what happened to the other santa?

听着 我们排队真的排了很久

listen, we've been waiting in this line for a really long time,

我们只想要一个有圣诞老人样子的圣诞老人

and we just want a santa that actually looks like santa.

米奇尔 没事的

mitchell, it's okay.

不不 小卡 不行

no, no, no. cam, it's not okay.

这是莉莉过的第一个圣诞节

this is lily's first christmas.

我想确保一切都很完美

i want to make sure everything is perfect.

我们要等那个胖圣诞老人 明白吗

we're gonna wait for the fat santa. all right?

我就知道会这样

i knew this would happen.

我 我真不知道我们为什么雇佣这家伙

i-i don't even know why we hired this guy.

瞧 连他的精灵都同意我的话 谢谢

see? even his elves agree with me. thank you.

没想到圣诞让你变得如此龟毛

i didn't know christmas made you so petty.

逊毙了

lackluster!

我恨你们

i hate you!

我绝对不能接受你们吸烟 到底是谁

this is unacceptable, and i want to know who did this.

没人吗

nobody, huh?

我猜是沙发自己把自己烫了个小洞

i guess the couch did it to itself.

辛苦的一天后回到家

guess it came home after a tough day,

点了支烟 烧到了它自己

lit up a cigarette and then it burned itself.

是这样吗 可真是荒谬

is that what happened? because that makes no sense.

真正的烟民如果不站出来

if whoever is responsible doesn't come forward,

我们会将你们三个统统作为惩罚对象

your father and i are just gonna have to punish all three of you.

什么

what?

- 这不公平 -我能原谅你们抽烟

- that's not fair! - i can forgive the smoking,

- 但是不能原谅撒谎 -不对

- but i can't forgive the lie. - no.

抽烟也不能原谅

or the smoking.

没人主动承认 真没有吗

no one wants to confess, huh? no?

没关系 知道接下来会怎样吗

that's fine, 'cause you know what happens next?

我们取消圣诞节

we cancel christmas!

这不公平

that's not fair.

好吧 老爸

okay, dad, sure.

菲尔喜欢在孩子面前夸海口

phil has a habit of making big pronouncements to the kids.

有一次我告诉卢克

one time i told luke...

如果他不把他的脏碗放进洗碗机

that if he didn't put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher,

我们就把脏碗放他床上

we would put them in his bed.

菲尔的问题就是 坚持到底

phil's problem is follow-through.

然后我们就没有碟子了

we had no more dishes,

所以最后只能用金鱼缸吃麦片

so we were eating cereal out of the goldfish bowl.

好吧 猜猜我现在要去干什么

okay. guess where i'm headed?

把圣诞树砍了 就是这样

to take down the tree. that's right.

- 快坦白吧 -这是你们最后的机会了

- come on, guys. - this is your last chance.

不管是谁做的 要勇于承担责任

whoever did this, just take responsibility.

不要连累其他人 卢克 不是吗

don't put the rest of us through this. luke? no?

那就这样吧 好吧 真砍了哦

this is really it. okay? here we go.

三 二 一

three, two, one.

好吧 再见 邓菲家的圣诞节

okay. good-bye, dunphy christmas.

海莉 我估计你拿不到新车做礼物了

haley, i guess you're not getting that car.

- 我能得到新车作为礼物吗 -不会了

- i was getting a car? - nope.

我撒谎的 因为现在就流行撒谎

i was lying, because that's what we do now.

邓菲一家人都是撒谎精

dunphys are liars.

我当老大的时候 一切都以音乐为中心

when i was in charge, it was all about the music.

为什么他们要在唱完歌后 把拐杖糖扔给观众

i mean, what's with them tossing out candy canes after every carol?

- 就是为了迎合 -我认为你

- it's pandering. - i think you

把糖又扔回去 已经表明了你的反感

made that clear when you tossed them back.

我怎样才能把这些东西都放进车里啊

how am i supposed to get all this in the car?

- 我来帮帮你们吧 -谢谢

- let me give you a hand with that. - uh, thanks.

- 谢谢 圣诞老人 -别再那么叫了

- thanks. thanks, santa. - can't call me that anymore.

我刚被炒鱿鱼了

just got canned.

真的吗

oh- really?

估计是有一些人投诉 说我不够胖

guess a couple people complained i wasn't fat enough.

那可真糟糕

well, that's terrible.

我不想过胖又引发心脏病 现在就这下场

that's what i get for trying not to have a second heart attack.

行了 空间总是能腾出来的

there you go. always a way to make room.

我作为住在车里的人 给你们的箴言

take it from someone who lives in his car.

那个 非常感谢你

oh, well, thank you so much.

没事儿 圣诞快乐

no problem. merry christmas.

等等 麻烦您

um, wait, wait. um, please,

让我给你些小费...

uh, let me give you a little something...

- 感谢你过来帮忙 -不 没关系的

- for your troubles. - no, that's okay.

- 天啊 真的吗 -你真住在车里吗

- gosh. really? okay. -do you really live in your car?

是啊 不过也没那么糟糕

yeah. it's not so bad.

我妻子搬出去后 就宽敞多了

it's pretty roomy since the wife moved out.

不如你今晚到我们家来共进晚餐吧

why don't you come over to our place for dinner tonight?

- 你当真 -是的 今晚可是平安夜

- seriously? - yeah. it's christmas eve.

你总不能在你的车里过吧

y-you can't spend it in your car.

你们可真是好人

wow, that's really nice of you guys.

我要带些什么吗

listen, can i bring anything?

番茄酱 酱油 吸管

ketchup, soy sauce, straws?

我们都有的

we're good.

那 你可以跟在我们车后面去我们家

so, uh, why don't you follow us to our house?

好的 开着你的"家"

okay. in your house.

好的

all right!

- 卡梅隆 -怎么了

- cameron. - what?

万事俱备 今晚9点整

okay. tonight, 9:00 sharp,

我们各自打开一份礼物

we open one present each.

睡衣 我们就穿着睡觉

pajamas- which we sleep in.

明天早上7点 曼尼

tomorrow morning, 7:00 a.m., manny,

站在楼梯上拍圣诞照片

on the stairs for the christmas picture.

然后我们打开礼物

then we open presents.

在哥伦比亚

in colombia,

人们午夜时打开礼物 然后一直守夜到早上

they open presents at midnight and stay up till morning.

我很确定他们确实是那样

i'm sure that they do,

不过既然你没有在大街上看到山羊乱窜

but as you'll notice from the absence of goats in the street,

就说明我们并不在哥伦比亚

we are not in colombia.

行了 我开玩笑的

come on! i'm kidding.

为什么不能融合点哥伦比亚传统习俗进去

why can't we mix a couple of colombian traditions in?

- 比如呢 -比如烟火

- like what? - like fireworks.

得了吧 哥伦比亚才没有烟火呢

come on. you don't have fireworks in colombia.

你们又想让我变成傻冒

you're trying to make me the inocente again.

不 我们有的 晚上的天空很美

no, we do. at night the sky is beautiful-

很有圣诞的气氛

very christmassy.

那说不通啊

that doesn't make any sense.

每个国家都有自己的传统

look, every country has their own traditions.

比如 在我们的文化里

in our culture, for example,

送圣诞礼物的 是婴儿耶稣

the baby jesus is the one... that brings the gifts,

而不是圣诞老人

not the santa claus.

那根本就不合理

but that doesn't make sense.

一个新生儿怎么能拿得动所有的礼物

how could a newborn baby carry all those presents?

他们连自己的手在哪都不知道

they don't even know where their hands are.

至少婴儿能穿过烟囱啊

at least a baby can fit through a chimney.

那你怎么坐在婴儿耶稣的膝盖上

how would you sit on the baby jesus' lap?

你会压扁他的

you'd squish it.

曼尼 明年我们会谈谈

manny, next year we'll talk about

你们哥伦比亚的一些传统

some of your little colombian traditions.

- 好吗 或许 -"或许"就是不会的意思

- okay? maybe. - i know what "maybe" means.

感觉你想要夺走我整个圣诞节

it's like you're trying to take away my whole christmas.

我不敢相信圣诞真没了

i can't believe it's all gone.

老爸从不会坚持到底的

dad never follows through.

你确定不是你的某个朋友烧了沙发

are you sure one of your friends didn't burn the couch?

不要看我

hey, don't look at me.

我们中只有一个人 曾经点火柴玩

only one of us was ever caught playing with matches.

卢克

luke?

那是一年前的事了 承认是你干的吧

that was a year ago. just admit you did it.

- 你承认吧 -不

- you admit you did it! - no!

好吧 我有个主意

okay. look, i have an idea.

你们记得斯巴达克斯那部电影吗

do you remember the movie spartacus?

我们这么做

here's what we do:

卢克 你去告诉爸妈是你做的

luke, you tell mom and dad it's your fault.

- 可我没有 -那没关系

- i didn't do it. - it doesn't matter.

因为你招了后

because after you confess,

我和海莉也会分别承认是我们做的

haley and i will each confess to the same thing.

那有什么用

how does that do anything?

他们会因为我们保护彼此而感动的

they'll be so touched that we're protecting each other...

然后他们就会把圣诞节还给我们了

that they'll have to bring back christmas.

太棒了

that's awesome.

为什么此计可行来着

how does it work again?

我们会成为传奇的

we're gonna pass into legend.

取消了圣诞节的父母亲

the parents who canceled christmas.

我还以为你会高兴

i thought you'd be happy.

他们会把我们写进歌里

they'ii write songs about us,

用那些丑陋的小泥人制作圣诞特价玩具

make one of those christmas specials with those ugly little clay people.

你老是说我

you're the one who always says

面对孩子时就狠不下心来

i shouldn't be such a pushover with the kids.

所以你就这样表明自己的立场吗

so this is where you decide to make your stand?

- 菲尔 -好吧 好吧 听着

- really, phil? - okay. okay, look.

别担心 圣诞节会回来的

don't worry. we're going to have christmas.

我们家孩子那么有责任有担当

we've raised our kids right.

不管谁做的 都会主动站出来承认错误

whoever did it will come forward.

不然另外两个也会把他供出来的

or the other two will rat 'em out.

爸 妈

mom, dad.

卢克 有什么事吗

hey, luke. what, uh- what can we do for you?

是我做的

i did it.

我玩了火柴 对不起

i was playing with matches. i'm sorry.

你 你 你做的对

you, uh- you did the right thing- yeah.

承认错误是对的 不过

by confessing, but, um-

你犯了错 小家伙

this is bad, buddy.

性质非常恶劣 懂吗

i mean, really bad, okay?

克莱尔 你来处理一下吧

claire, you want to handle this?

卢克 你刚才为什么不说

um, luke, why didn't you say something?

我也不知道

mmm, i don't know.

好吧 你爸爸和我对你失望至极

okay, well, your father and i are extremely disappointed in you,

回你的房间去 去吧

so- go up to your room. go on.

艾丽克斯

alex!

我们一会儿上去找你谈话 去吧

we'll be up to talk to you in a minute. just go.

- 海莉 -怎么了

- haley! - what?

- 说话呀 -说什么

- say something! - about what?

- 我收回刚才的招供 -怎么回事

- uh, i take it back! - what is going on?

她们俩原本也应该招工的

these guys were gonna say they did it too,

这样你们就会以我们仨为傲

and you were gonna be proud of all of us.

我们为什么要那么做

why would we do that?

这孩子满嘴胡言完全不能信啊

i don't know what to believe with this kid.

骗子 不是我干的

liars! i didn't do it!

- 也不是我干的 -别看我

- well, it wasn't me. - don't look at me.

- 搞什么啊 -等等

- seriously? - wait.

又没人承认了吗

nobody did it again?

行 没关系

no, that's fine.

猜猜会怎样 圣诞节依旧取消

guess what? christmas is still canceled.

我是无所谓的

that's fine by me.

我们明年再过吧

let's start working on next year.

别忘了还有除夕 复活节 都不过了

hey, and memo to new year's eve... and easter-

小心点

watch your back!

我从海军退役后 算是开始环游世界了

so, after i left the marines, i just kinda traveled the world.

现在我游走在各城之间 打些临时工

now i go from town to town picking up odd jobs.

有点像绿巨人

oh. kinda like the hulk.

真巧啊 那正是我在部队时的绰号

that's weird. that was my nickname in the corps-

因为我的暴脾气

'cause of my bad temper.

不管怎样 谢谢你们请我过来

anyway, thanks for having me over,

请我吃晚饭 帮我洗衣服

having me for dinner, letting me do my laundry.

今天本来很不顺

it's not been a good day.

斯科特 我有事要跟你坦白

um, scott, i-i have a confession to make.

我没有

um, i didn't, uh-

我没有清洗洗衣槽

i didn't clean the lint tray,

所以你的衣服可能会沾上些毛

so, um, your clothes might be a little pilly.

没关系 我不在乎

oh, no problem. that's the least of my worries.

谢谢你们做的一切 我今天很开心

thanks for everything. you guys made my day.

- 至少可以以此补偿你 -什么意思

- it's the least we could do. - what do you mean?

我不知道我在说什么

i don't know... what i was saying.

- 我们永远都别告诉他了 -完全正确

- i just say we never tell him. - exactly.

我们给了他钱 热食 帮他洗衣服

we give him some money, a hot meal, laundry.

我想我们扯平了

i think we're square.

同意 行了 这个东西怎么用

agreed. okay, how does this thing work?

我想应该是按中间的那个按钮 没错

i think you just press that button right there in the middle. yeah.

- 我的天 -这有点...

- oh, my - okay. that...

摇得有点太高了 对吗

that seems a little high, doesn't it?

没错 我才不要把莉莉放进去

yes. i'm not putting lily in that.

简直像是给宇航员训练用的

it's like something astronauts train in.

嚯嚯嚯 我来了 嚯嚯嚯 我来了

ho, ho, ho! it's me! ho, ho, ho! it's me!

- 你爸来了 -对

- it's your dad. - yeah.

嘿 老爸

hey, dad.

我给你们带了礼物

i brought your presents.

我们不是明天要见你吗 杰

aren't we seeing you tomorrow, jay?

这是给你们的平安夜礼物

these are your christmas eve gifts.

- 你知道规矩的 -是的

- you know the drill. - oh, yeah.

你在睡觉前拆开 里面是睡衣

you open those up before bedtime. they're pajamas.

还在保持这个传统啊

still keeping traditions alive, huh?

总得有人传承优良传统啊

well, someone has to.

我家有两个哥伦比亚人

i got two colombians at home

想要把圣诞节变成五月节

trying to turn christmas into cinco de mayo.

你知道那是墨西哥的节日 对吧

you know that's mexican, right?

又有什么区别呢

ah, burrito, "bur-right-o."

圣诞节就是圣诞节

christmas should be christmas.

站在楼梯上照相 热巧克力 拆礼物

picture on the stairs, hot chocolate, opening the presents.

这才应该是

that was supposed to be

家里又添了小孩的好处

the good thing about having a kid in the house again.

我又能像我们以前那样过圣诞节了

i can have christmas the way we used to.

我懂你的意思了 杰

i hear you, jay.

如果我现在在家里

if i was home right now,

我肯定正在调一整浴缸的圣诞蛋酒

i'd be mixin' up a bathtub full of eggnog

努力将一只油腻的乳猪 塞进圣诞老人的帽子里

and trying to squeeze a greased hog into a santa hat.

你以为我不怀念吗

you don't think i miss that?

是吗

do you?

重点是那些已经是永不褪色的回忆了

the point is that those are memories that i'll always have,

但现在我有绝佳的机会

but now i have the perfect opportunity...

来和我的新家人去创造我们新的回忆

to create new memories with my new family...

终有一日这些回忆也会不同寻常

that are gonna be just as special someday.

是的 小卡说得没错

aw. no. cam's right, you know.

我们每年都会创造新的传统

we create new traditions every year.

谁准备好去试试秋千了

so, who's ready to try the swing?

儿子 记得提醒我

okay, now remind me.

明天第一件事就是把这个放进烤炉

we put this in the oven first thing tomorrow

因为杰想要三点的时候吃

'cause jay wants to eat at 3:00.

曼尼 是你把这个蜘蛛放在冰箱里的吗

ay, manny! did you put this spider in the fridge?

是啊 恶作剧嘛

oh, yeah. inocente.

小家伙 怎么回事

ay, papi, what's wrong?

我想过个哥伦比亚式的圣诞节

i want to have christmas like they do in colombia.

杰把事情都搞砸了

jay is messing everything up.

曼尼 理解下他吧

manny, try to understand.

在杰的儿女尚小之时 他们有很美好的回忆

jay has great memories with his kids when they were young.

他只是想和你再现当年的美好回忆

and he just wants to recreate them with you.

那么我能给杰的最棒的圣诞节礼物

so, maybe the best gift i could give jay would be...

是陪他像以前那样过圣诞节吗

christmas like he used to have it?

你真是个乖孩子

ay, you're such a beautiful boy!

等你长大以后 我会很怀念

one day you're gonna grow up, and i'm gonna miss...

你小时候所做得一切

all the things that you used to do as a little boy.

好吧 但如果那个所谓的圣诞老人

okay. but if this so-called santa claus...

没送我一件酒红色的晚礼服

doesn't bring me a burgundy dinner jacket,

我们会有大麻烦的

we're going to have a big problem.

亲爱的

honey?

我们真的不该让步吗

would it really be so bad to back down?

那样孩子们再也不会把我们的威胁当回事了

and have the kids never take any of our threats seriously again?

是啊

yeah.

也许 孩子们会意识到

or... the kids could realize...

我们放弃了做父母的权威 做出巨大的牺牲

that we're making a supreme sacrifice by giving up our power

来拯救他们的圣诞节

to save their christmas.

从某种意义上来说

which would, in a way, be

会成为我们送给他们最棒的礼物

the greatest gift that we could ever give them.

那样反而会让他们更加尊重我们

and which would paradoxically make them respect us even more.

行了 算我痴心妄想 想想刚说的

okay, forget that. go back one.

老爸老妈

hey, guys.

是我干的

it- it was me.

- 什么 -什么

- what? - what?

我在学校发现了一根烟

i found a cigarette at school,

家里没人的时候 我抽了一口

and when no one was home, i- i tried it.

我想我可能拿得离沙发太近了

and i-i guess i held it too close to the couch.

真的很抱歉

i'm so sorry.

你们可以不让我过圣诞节

you can take my christmas away,

但别让其他人也不能过

but don't take it from everyone else.

你能关心家人这点很不错

that is very noble of you to care about the family,

但是你抽了烟 还撒了谎

but you still smoked and lied.

你的行为需要严厉批评

that's really bad.

- 现在帮我去搬圣诞树吧 -菲尔

- now help me grab the tree. - phil.

菲尔 艾丽克斯 回来

phil, alex, come on back.

从12月26日开始 你被禁足一周

starting december 26, you are grounded for a full week,

包括除夕在内

and that includes new year's eve.

- 但是我... -没有商量的余地

- but, i was - yeah, non-negotiable. so...

好吧

fine.

各位

everybody!

正式宣布 圣诞节回来啦

it's official! christmas is back on!

- 是吗 -发生什么了

- it is? - what happened?

无所谓啦

doesn't matter.

长袜 彩灯 装饰物 花环

stockings, lights, ornaments, wreath!

- 各就各位 开始行动 -好的

- go, go, go! - okay.

我听着似乎是一件压力山大的工作啊

well, that sounds like a stressful job to me.

没你想得那么严重

not as much as you'd think.

他们总是确保有一人是空弹

they always made sure one of us had a blank,

那样就没人知道谁是致命一击

so nobody knew who took the fatal shot.

晚餐实在是太美味了

this was mighty tasty.

我可不想呆得过久

well, i don't want to overstay my welcome.

我就先走一步了

you won't have me back.

你俩好好享受今晚余下的时光吧

you guys enjoy the rest of your night.

你们都是好人

you're good people.

斯科特 等等 等等

scott. wait, wait.

别忘了你洗过的衣服

don't forget your laundry.

多谢 多谢 多谢

oh! thanks. thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks.

圣诞节快乐

merry christmas.

斯科特 也祝你圣诞节快乐

scott, merry christmas to you, too.

也祝你... 他妈的

and happy. son of a bitch.

- 什么 -是新绿袖子唱诗班

- what? - oh. it's the new greensleevers.

他们以前是卡梅隆的唱诗班成员

they're cameron's old caroling group.

今年他们把他开除了

they kicked him out this year.

把我从唱诗班开除就算了

i mean, it is one thing to kick me out of the group,

竟然还来揭我伤疤

but to rub my nose in it!

我要去把洒水器打开

i'm turning on the sprinklers.

等一下 等一下

wait. wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

我知道报仇的快感

i know it feels good to get even.

相信我

believe me.

看到别人眼中的恐惧很...

to see the fear in a man's eyes is-

但有件事会让你更爽

but there's something that feels even better.

那就是 宽恕

forgiveness.

斯科特 你不明白

scott, you don't understand.

以前唱诗班就是我的追梦女孩

this- this group was my dreamgirls.

我就像是艾菲

i was effie.

你们知道我今天做的最棒的事是什么吗

you know what the best thing i did all day was?

原谅你们害我被炒鱿鱼

forgiving you for getting me fired.

安德鲁

andrew.

全体演出人员

ensemble.

我知道你们今晚在我家门口唱歌绝非巧合

uh, i know it's no accident that you're here on my street tonight.

而我 我只想对你们说 你们唱得很好

and i- i just wanted to say to you all that you sound great.

还有 圣诞节快乐

and... merry christmas.

连你的道歉都走音了

even your apology is off-key.

老兄 没法忍了

not cool, buddy.

我还是快溜吧

well, i should, uh, probably scoot.

但是 但是 不是说要宽恕吗

but- but- but what about forgiveness?

你人很好 而他是下三滥

you were nice. he was naughty.

你去哪去了这么久

where were you for so long?

最后抢购了一下

just a little last-minute shopping.

- 这是什么 -波瓦洛

- what's this? - bunuelos.

- 是谁 什么 -芝士馅饼

- who? what? - cheese fritters.

是哥伦比亚圣诞节的传统食物

it's a colombian traditional christmas food.

好的 新规定 从现在开始

okay, new rule: from now on...

与哥伦比亚有关的事 只许在哥伦比亚做

we do colombian things when we're in colombia.

在美国 只许做与美国有关的事

we do american things when we're in america.

也就是说 不许做你们的食物

that means no more of your food,

不许放你们的音乐

no more of your music...

尤其不许过你们疯狂的节日

and especially no more of your crazy holidays!

- 傻帽了吧 -杰

- inocente! - ay, jay!

什么 我说错了吗

what? did i say it wrong?

你们刚刚的样子就是很傻帽嘛

you two are total inocentes!

你们应该看看自己脸上的表情

you should see the look on your faces.

顺便说一句 你知道在平安夜

and by the way- you know how

想买到烟火有多难吗

hard it is to get fireworks on christmas eve?

快去 曼尼 谢谢

go, manny. thank you.

好的 又是一份给卢克的礼物

all righty. here's another one for luke.

- 看起来像一本书 -我已经有一本书了

- looks like a book. - i have a book already.

那是怎么回事 我的老天 沙发在冒烟

what is that? oh, my god. the couch is smoking.

是阳光的原因

it's sunlight.

是装饰物的原因

it's the ornament.

真酷 像放大镜聚焦一样

cool. it's like a magnifying glass.

真奇怪啊 沙发被烧出的洞

hey, how weird is that? it's burning a hole...

和艾丽克斯抽烟烧的洞刚好在同一个位置

in the exact same spot that alex was smoking in.

海莉

oh, haley.

艾丽克斯 你为什么要主动承担责任

alex, why'd you take the blame?

我不想错过圣诞节

i didn't want to lose christmas.

你真是太高尚了

that is so stinking beautiful.

过来

get in here.

- 不要 -来嘛

- no. - yes.

- 不要 -来嘛

- oh, no. - yes.

- 太好了 -熊抱抱

- oh, yes! - bear hug!

等等 你本打算因为一件我们都

wait a- you were going to take

没做过的事情 而不让我们过圣诞节吗

christmas away for something that none of us did?

圣诞节意味着放下过去朝前看

well, um, christmas is about moving forward.

我可没听过那个说法

i've never heard that.

确实 亲爱的 你似乎是信口开河的

actually, honey, you did kinda shoot your mouth off.

你还说我们是撒谎精

you called us all liars.

没错 你就是那样说的

yeah, you did, and then...

我们别越说越起劲了 是我的错

let's not all get worked up. i made a mistake!

我犯错了 人难免会犯错的

i made a mistake. and people make mistakes.

但人们会弥补犯下的错误

and they make up for those mistakes-

通过 带全家人去意大利来弥补

by... taking their family to italy!

我的天呐

oh, my god! yeah!

- 迪兰能一起去吗 -当然 当然

- can dylan come? - yeah! yeah!

谁想来点鸡腿肉

who wants some dark meat?

每年的这个时候 我们就会经常谈论传统

we talk a lot about tradition this time of year.

尽管我们深爱着自己的传统

but as much as we love our traditions,

但有时候我们最美好的回忆

sometimes our best memories come

却来自最颠覆传统的时刻

from the times that are the most untraditional.

傻帽

inocente!

我们记得爸妈发狂的那一年

we remember the year mom and dad went crazy.

我们记得圣诞老人打了颂歌者的那一年

we remember the year santa punched out the caroler.

但对我来说 今年是让"传统"这个词

but for me, this was the year that the word "tradition"...

变得更有意义的一年

got a lot bigger.

那是小卡

there's cam.

不是吧

ah, you didn't.

又被你整了

you got me again.

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