随着《团圆饭之小小少年》制作完成，让我想到了“陪伴缺失”话题，于是写下了这篇文章……（文：常馨月 |图：兵鹰）
with the completion of the production of a long lost reunion dinner, i thought about the topic of "lack of companionship", so i wrote this article.
在中国，14岁以下的少年儿童，有2.3亿之多，其中很多人在成长过程中，都有不同程度的陪伴缺失问题。
in china, there are 230 million children under the age of 14. many of them have different degrees of absence of company during their growth.
六一儿童节，一个父亲对孩子说：“我抱起砖头就没法抱你，放下砖头就没法养你！”因为父亲是一位建筑工人。
on children's day, a father said to his child, "i can't work with you, i can't make money with you!" because this father is a construction worker.
但孩子却说：
but the child said：
爸爸你是个骗子，每次你回家，我问你，爸爸你累吗？你总是告诉我，一点都不累。可是我明明看见你偷偷地揉腰，看见你的手上还多了几道新伤。
dad, you are a liar. every time you go home, i ask you, dad, are you tired? you always tell me that i'm not tired at all. but i saw you knead your waist secretly, and there were some new injuries on your hands.
爸爸你是个骗子，我问你，工地上吃得好吗？你总会说吃得可好了，顿顿大鱼大肉还有汤。然后把桌上的鸡腿夹到我碗里，说妞妞要多吃点，才能长身体。可是我明明在电视上看到，工地上的饭菜，都没有几滴油星。
dad, you are a liar, i asked you, did you eat well on the construction site? you always say it's good. then put the chicken legs in my bowl and said that my daughter should eat more to grow your body. but i saw on tv that there were not a few drops of oil in the meals on the construction site.
爸爸你是个骗子，每次带我出门，你都会说喜欢什么就买，爸爸有钱。可是你自己的衣服已经旧的不能再旧了，还是舍不得换新的。
dad, you are a liar. every time you take me out, you will say that i will buy whatever i like. you have money. but your own clothes are old and can't be used any more. you are still reluctant to change them
随着《团圆饭之小小少年》制作完成，让我想到了“陪伴缺失”话题。
with the completion of the production of a long lost reunion dinner，i think of the topic of "lack of company".
这就是现状，为了挣得一份好生活，父母不得不在外奔波，鲜有时间陪伴孩子。
the reality is cruel. in order to earn a good life, parents have to work hard outside and have no time to accompany their children.
这就是现状，中国的经济成长，也伴随着陪伴缺失带来的痛楚，这就是成长的隐忍和代价。
this is the reality. china's economic growth is accompanied by the pain brought by the absence of company, which is the growth of forbearance and price.
01
曾经，邓超在微博上晒出自己和4岁女儿的聊天记录。
once, deng chao posted his chat record with his 4-year-old daughter on microblog.
“爸爸，做梦的时候，你可以给我打个电话吗？” “好吗？”
"dad, can you call me in your dream?" "all right?"
童言无忌，这个4岁孩子的几句话，却看得人无比心酸。邓超因为女儿，曾经动了息影的念头，当个全职爸爸。
children speak without fear. this 4-year-old child's several words, but looked extremely sad. because of his daughter, deng chao once had the idea of retiring and becoming a full-time father.
那天邓超要去上班，女儿小花却紧紧抱住爸爸不撒手。
deng chao was going to work that day, but his daughter held him tightly.
女儿在自己耳边抽泣，邓超亲吻女儿轻声安慰：不哭不哭，爸爸真的要去上班了。可小花紧紧搂着他的脖子，小声抽泣着……
the daughter sobbed in her ear, deng chao kisses her daughter and gently comforts her: "don't cry, baby. dad is really going to work." but the daughter hugged his neck and sobbed.
有人说明星光鲜靓丽，也因为身不由己，心中充满内疚，更何况我们普通人呢？
because the work is too busy to accompany the children, the stars are full of guilt. what's more, we ordinary people?
每个父母都有一刻，想放下一切，去陪孩子成长。可一转身，又悄悄说了句：“对不起，抱起砖头抱不起你，放下砖头又养不起你。”
every parents have a moment, want to put everything down, to accompany the growth of their children. but a turn, and said: "sorry, between you and my job, i can only choose one."
明知亏欠太多，也只能头也不回地大步向前！
knowing that he owes his children too much, he can only stride forward without looking back!
知乎上有个热搜的话题：为了工作，你会不会背井离乡？
there is a hot topic on zhihu: will you leave your hometown in order to work?
虽然众说纷纭，但有一个回答最痛击人心，那就是：为了工作我不会，但是为了孩子，我会。不是父母太过狠心，他们也会在夜深人静的时候，因为没办法陪在你身边难过哭泣。
although there are different opinions, there is one answer that strikes people most bitterly, that is: "i won't do it for work, but i will for children." it's not that parents are cruel, they will cry at night because they can't accompany you.
02
知乎上有句扎心的话：留守儿童，空巢青年，孤寡老人，我这一辈子要体验的三种状态
there is a startling saying: left-behind children, empty nest youth, lonely old people, i will experience three states in my life.
小欧是一个空巢青年，他只身一人来到北京，在一家影视公司工作，想要打拼出一片天地，但工作压力实在太大了，而且影视行业过着晨昏颠倒的生活，早晨从中午开始，晚上常常忙到半夜。
xiao ou is an empty nest youth. he came to beijing alone, working in a film and television company, and wanted to get ahead. but the work pressure is really too big, and the film and television industry leads a life of morning and dusk reversal, starting from noon in the morning and often working late at night.
女朋友抱怨没有人陪，他不得不先考虑工作挣钱，在北京站稳脚跟，就这样两人分开了，小欧变成了一个“空巢青年”。
his girlfriend complained about not being accompanied. but xiao ou had to work to earn money and survive in beijing. so they broke up. xiao ou became an "empty nest youth".
期间也试图找女朋友，但每次吃吃饭看个电影，花上好几百，什么结果也没有，甚至连手也没有拉到，他感觉很不值得，而且花销不菲，让他入不敷出。
later, he also tried to find a girlfriend. but every time they eat and watch a movie together. he spend hundreds of yuan, and there is no result, even no hand. he feels it is not worth it.
如今四年过去了，他还是一个人在北京生活，成为一个孤独迷茫的空巢青年。用他自己的话说，不愿意再谈恋爱，赖得恋爱。
now four years later, he is still living alone in beijing, becoming a lonely and confused empty nest youth. in his own words, he didn't want to fall in love again.
对于空巢青年来说，陪伴不得不缺失。
for empty nesters, they certainly lack company.
《团圆饭之小小少年》的乖宝爸，就是一个典型的空巢青年，看了让人心酸和泪目。
in this film, guaibao's father is a typical empty nest youth, which makes the audience sad and tearful.
03
薛忆沩的小说《空巢》，是一部惊心动魄的作品，写了一位老人受骗的经历，她是一位知识女性，本应有辨别能力，但因为老伴去世，两个孩子都不在身边，她觉得卖保健品的小伙子对她很好，明知他靠近自己的目的，但还是跌进了诈骗的圈套。
xue yihui's novel empty nest is a soul stirring work, which describes the experience of an old woman being cheated. she is an intellectual woman and should have the ability to distinguish. but because her husband died and her two children were not around, she felt that the young man selling health care products was very kind to her. she knew that he was close to his purpose, but she fell into the trap of fraud.
当孩子让她报警时，她不报，儿子一通劈头盖脸的责难，但他是否想过，母亲为什么会受骗？
when the child asked her to call the police, she refused. the son is full of censure, but has he ever thought about why his mother was cheated?
有一种孤独，叫做空巢，有一群老人叫做“空巢老人”，他们有子女，却无人承欢膝下，他们有心事，却无人倾诉。
there is a kind of loneliness called empty nest. there is a group of old people called "empty nesters". they have children but no one to accompany them. they have something on their mind, but no one talks to each other.
在农村“出门一把锁，进门一盏灯”，成为许多老年人的真实生活写照。
in rural areas, "a lock to go out and a light to enter" has become a portrayal of the real life of many old people.
调查研究发现，儿女的问候是老人最需要的，老人最缺乏的是亲情陪伴。
the survey found that children's greetings are most needed by the elderly. what the elderly lack most is family companionship.
由于缺乏来自亲人的关爱，很多空巢老人，总是一个人发呆，想心事，很少参加集体活动，慢慢与外界脱节。
due to the lack of care from their relatives, many empty nesters are always in a daze, thinking about their worries, rarely participate in collective activities, and gradually get out of touch with the outside world.
青年人生存压力很大，生活节奏很快，一天到晚忙得焦头烂额，但不管多忙，也要常回家看看。
young people are under great pressure to survive. they are very busy all day long. however busy they are, they should often go home to visit their parents.
因为父母在，我们尚知来路；有一天父母远去，我们只有归途。
because our parents are here, we still know where we come from. one day, when our parents were gone, we had to go .
04
我做家务时，常常感慨到母亲照顾一家人的辛苦，有一天看见她手臂上有几个红斑，我吓了一跳，赶忙问怎么回事？
when i do housework, i often feel the hard work of my mother to take care of the family. one day i saw a few red spots on her arm. i was scared and asked what was going on?
母亲说是炒菜烫的，但斑有好几个，明明不是一次烫伤，我居然没有发现，那一刻我背过身，眼圈红了。
mother said it was fried. but there are several spots, clearly not a scald, i actually did not find. at that moment, i turned my back and my eyes were wet.
05
但母亲此时却在感慨邻居一对爷爷奶奶的不易，他们有两个儿子，两个儿子生了两个孙子，因为家庭经济并不宽裕，他们负责照顾两个孙子，每天忙得不可开交，而且奶奶还有糖尿病。
but at this time, the mother was feeling the difficulty of a pair of grandparents in the neighborhood. they had two sons, and the two sons had two grandchildren, because the family was not well off. they were responsible for taking care of their two grandchildren. they were very busy every day, and the grandmother had diabetes.
爷爷还有一个老母亲，他时常还有回去看自己的母亲；奶奶的母亲，年岁也太大了，每个周五她做好了饭，匆匆忙忙坐着地铁回去看自己的母亲。
grandfather also has an old mother. he often goes back to see his mother. grandma's mother, too old, every friday she cooked meals, hurried back to see her mother on the subway.
母亲感叹他们的不易，工作了一辈子把两个儿子拉扯大，现在还要拉扯两个孙子，还要照顾自己的老母亲。
my mother lamented their difficulty. they have worked all their lives to bring up their two sons. now they have to pull on two grandchildren and take care of their old mother.
母亲的意思是，她和父亲比他们幸福多了，我却感到由衷地内疚……
my mother meant that she and my father were happier than they were, but i felt guilty from the bottom of my heart.
在《团圆饭之小小少年》中，郭宏杰老师饰演乖宝爷爷，居然把我看哭了。
in the film, mr. guo hongjie plays the role of guai bao's grandfather. his performance moved me.
06
在拍摄和制作《团圆饭之小小少年》的过程中，我们哭过，我们笑过，我们真诚的感动过，心灵受到洗礼。
in the process of shooting and making movies, we have cried, we have laughed, we have been moved sincerely, and our hearts have been baptized.
我们愿意将这份感动，这份赤子之心，分享给这个世界上所有缺乏陪伴的小孩子和大孩子。
we are willing to share this touching and childlike heart with all the children and older children who lack company in the world.
为此，金童象儿童电影周提议，将每年11月20日设为“国际陪伴日”，11取自双11的11，代表孤独的孩子和孤独的老人，20取自520的20，代表陪伴和爱你。
therefore, jintongxiang children's film festival proposes to set november 20 every year as "international companion day". 11 is taken from double 11, representing lonely children and lonely old people. 20 is taken from 520, representing company and love.
希望在这一天，我们放下手机，放下工作，用心陪伴家人，让心回归，让爱回家。
on this day, we put down our work and stayed with our families. let heart return, let love go home.
“老吾老以及人之老，幼吾幼以及人之幼。”愿每一份孤独都有陪伴，愿每一次陪伴都有幸福的感觉。
may every loneliness have company. may every time i accompany you, you will feel happy.
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